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'Where is my babe?'

The Art of Dying
18th of October, London 2022

On the 10th of June 2022 my mother Ania Bilon was diagnosed with a type of very aggressive brain cancer and given a prognosis of two months to live.

 

Out of the blue and into the blue.

Within a month of Ania's diagnosis she had lost the ability to speak and move the right part of her body. Ania couldnt say the words she wanted to say. Within three weeks Ania needed to use a wheelchair and two people to help her move and smoke a cigarette or eat a brownie or make a phone call. She lost most of her speech, but she could still communicate through some words or phrases, one of them is 

Where is my babe?

 

Home gigs, dinner parties, day trips to exhibitions and car boot sales. Ania didn't like the idea of funerals and didn’t like the idea of us having a party without her. We went on a boat trip on Little Venice to celebrate her rite of passage. 

 

Four days before Ania's death, she had the impulse to see Rothko’s work at the Tate Modern, but when we got there she said

 

No more desire

 

Ania died at home on the 18th of October 2022 in London, Maida Vale.

 

I made a mould of her hand.I wanted to keep Ania's body at home.

This is what inspired The Art of Dying Project.
 

Thank you to all the carers and nurses who helped me day and night to look after my mum: Soula, Dina, Sonia, Brigitte, Yvette, Cristiana, Hamda, Hinda, Ifra, Fortun, Hawa, Fahida, Uber and Sophia. Thank you for the support of Cancer MacMillian and St Johns Hospice for palliative care at home support.  

Many pictures were taken by Ania herself documenting the last few months of Ania's life

Where is my babe?

part of the art of dying documentation/archive

by Dagmara Bilon

London, 2022-2023

Copyright@Dagmara Bilon2024

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